oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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