Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
