I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
