the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
