Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i will never coherently bang her
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
