ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize