sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize