Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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