it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize