so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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