he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
