I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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