dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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