3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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