I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
