dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
