real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
