His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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