Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
