the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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