are you so shy because you have an std?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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