well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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