Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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