We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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