I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
