Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
