You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
