what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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