He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
