It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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