I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
