He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
