Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
