I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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