didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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