so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
