I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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