Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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