I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We are all done wearing pants today
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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