i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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