...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize