I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize