when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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