Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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