It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
