i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
