the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
