we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
COCAINE IS GR8
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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