I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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