For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
