is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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