she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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