so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize