She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
