people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize