Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
