My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
