There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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