Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize