GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
